07.13.06

Shameful Satire

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:42 pm by Perry

I have decided that I no longer want to be a Reformed Baptist and am currently trying to find a new denomination to convert to.  Here is my current working list with my rationale for switching:

(a) Methodist - Doctrine never really mattered that much anyway.

(b) Episcopal - If Joel Osteen can be a pastor, why not allow women and homosexuals to be also?

(c) Catholic - I’ve always been a hard worker, why not work hard for my salvation also?

(d) Presbyterian - Mother, Child, Womb, ingenious!!!

(e) Pentecostal - I have always wanted to learn a foreign language.

(f) Charismatic - I do like rock concerts and serving punch and cookies.

(g) Seventh Day Adventist - I rather like sleeping in on Sundays.

(h) Mormon - Who wants one wife when you can have five?

(i) Amish - I do look good in black.

(h) Jehovah’s Witness - Three in one, what is that all about?

Finally,

(j) Freewill Baptists - I do pride myself on making good decisions.

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